My R-Rated Movie List for Transitioning Mormons

Movies are magical.

As a medium, the motion picture is as if photography, theater and music got together and had a beautiful love child. Few forms of artistic expression provide an immersive, sensory experience more so than the cinematic arts. Movies have become woven into the fabric of our cultures and societies. Movies remind us of the past, allow us to visit fantastic worlds, help us understand each other, and teach us about the world around us.

I’ve always loved movies. While growing up, films like Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Superman mesmerized me and unleashed my imagination. As a teenager, I found inspiration and hope through classics like Rocky, Rudy and Field of Dreams. I must have watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Tommy Boy and Billy Madison a hundred times with my high school friends. I remember the first stop I made after returning from my mission was the video rental store so I could binge on all the movies I had missed for two years.

For movie nerds like me, being a Mormon kid in Utah came with a lot of anxiety. While I wanted to explore and experience the full depth and rawness that the medium offered, I knew that watching R-rated movies was all but forbidden. We all experienced different interpretations of this “guideline” in our homes growing up. My wife Stefanie, for example, was allowed to watch certain R-rated movies from a very young age. I also knew Mormon kids who weren’t allowed to watch any movies more risqué than PG.

In my home R-rated movies were a rare treat. I remember watching my first R-rated movie, Darkman, one night with my dad when I was 8. I felt so cool and grown-up. During my tween and early teen years my parents would infrequently grant me permission to watch some soft R movies — as long as there weren’t any boobs and the cuss words were minimal. Graphic Violence? Eh, for some reason that wasn’t as big of a deal. In high school watching R-rated movies was an exciting act of rebellion, but it always came with the steep price of guilt. It’s been my guilty pleasure ever since.

The truth is, we all missed out. By any objective standard, many of the best movies ever made are rated R. Now, I have all the usual reservations about the sexism, gratuitous violence, and other harmful messages that we are pummeled with by all the mass media we consume. But here’s the thing . . . I’m a grown-ass man. R-rated movies are intended for mature audiences — people 17 and older. They are intended for an audience that is equipped to handle the intense emotional, mental, and sensory input that many of these films beautifully and artfully deliver.

If you’re reading this, more than likely your new approach and perspective on Mormonism has opened you to a variety of once prohibited experiences. And if you’re like me, you’ve wanted to make up for lost time. So here’s a short list of my 30 favorite R-rated films. Some of the films on this list, like the Matrix, American Beauty, or V for Vendetta will resonate with Mormon misfits like us. Most of them however, I simply feel should be required viewing. Classics like The Godfather, Schindler’s List, and Pulp Fiction are part of the broader zeitgeist of our society. Comedies like The Big Lebowski and Life of Brian will provide a cinematic experience that will make you laugh and blow your mind. Apocalypse Now and The Shawshank Redemption will change your life.

Okay, that’s more than enough cinema geekery for one blog post. I’m not pretending this is any kind of comprehensive or definitive list, and there are dozens of other films that could or should be added. I’d maybe call this a starting point. So, please use the comments here to share your favorites.

In no particular order: